Aunti M for Precedent!

Hello everybody, Martha here.  As you can see by the title, Aunti M has decided to get into politics, and is launching a campaign - of sorts.  Its complicated, She kept me up until all hours talking about it.  You take over; I'm going for a nap.

Aunti M here, home from the 63rd Annual Strippers and Pole Dancers Alumnae Convention, held at the Motel 6 out on Hwy 273.  We made quite a presence at the IHOP next door.  Peggy got inspired by the Double Stack and decided she wanted to introduce a new featured pile-o-pancakes called the Peggy Stack of the Rack, reproducing her own fine features, or at least the fond memory of them, all firm and upright, right there on the dish.  But when she stole cherries off a child's plate at the table next to ours to make nipples, well, things got a little dicey.  It was at that point that our waiter finally agreed to get the manager, even though Peggy had tried multiple times to convince him this was a sure-fire menu item and he needed to get a picture. 


There were five of us (sadly, our numbers are dwindling) who showed up, despite the appeal of the program:  Workshops titled: Thongs for Seniors; Gyration for the Slightly Arthritic; Tassles for Tired Ta Ta's and the ever popular Best-Selling Fragrances at Wal-Mart.  Of course, it is true that we put these together the morning we arrived, all the planning greased with toddies, but girl, life is short.  And Aunti M believes in continuing education, however it occurs.

But it was the one on Poles that got me thinking.  The newspapers seemed obsessed with them these days, measuring who is going to vote for whom, almost a year and a half before anybody gets to! We had been talking about our President, and that fabulous mop of blond hair that he spends two hours fixing every morning, and the fact that he uses the Very Hairspray that the Strippers International Health and Beauty Plan recommends (coupon included which never expires.) There are a lot of people running for President, some actually kind of walking, others crawling if you ask me. But it seems to me that there is plenty of room for something new, which has always been kind of my job to introduce, whenever there is a crack, you are welcome.

So your Aunti M, fashion maven, and holder of the Second Place Red Ribbon in the 1946 Diving off the Low Board Competition at Swazey's Fishing Pond and Bait Store, realized that given my background, I had a solemn responsibility to represent my country.  You see people, stripping for a living gives me a special window into what makes people happy, and also what makes them unhappy enough that witnessing complete strangers wiggling around in their altogethers makes them happy..  That is one of the many gifts I bring to this campaign.

Aunti M for Precedent.  Our motto:  We're OLD, We're BOLD.  We've done it ALL BEFORE!

So, stay tuned for further announcements.  Right now, I am my own campaign manager.  I stayed up all night trying to convince Martha to do it, but she just kept hanging her head and running her hands through her hair, not sure why.  But when she gets up from her nap, I'll try again.  Meanwhile, go out there and do your civic duty:  Picket the IHOP for the Peggy Stack!