Dear Aunti M.
My cousin takes himself so seriously. He claims to be on this Giant Spiritual Path, which evidently makes him better than any of the rest of us, and I'm just sick of it. I have to go to a wedding where he will be - get this - The Best Man - and his sanctimonious-down-the-nose makes me want to dance naked on the tables! I know this isn't generous of me, but I just can't help it. I know you have been around a lot of people like this, so what do you do?
Signed, Ready to Strip at a Family Gathering
Dear Ready,
We do sympathize; honestly we do. And depending on your age, and your exercise routine, stripping may or may not be the best route. This option has been closed to Aunti M for some time, you may not be surprised to hear, although elder women getting naked en masse has proven to be a powerful political statement, but we digress.
You are not going to want to hear this, but that is not a criteria for saying things that Aunti M honors, so here goes. Giant Spiritual Path People deserve your compassion too. They are in their own parade, just like Giant Money People, or Giant Political People. They've just added a different frequency of insecurity. It's ultimately all the same.
Aunti M has learned when people got to keep reminding you of how much they've accomplished in any category, when they are wearing it out loud, it is because they have to keep reminding themselves. If you can just picture, while you are listening to him tell you how many hours he meditates, or how he eats only bean sprouts with purified whatever juice on top, just picture him as a frightened, naked little boy, because that is - trust me on this - how he feels inside. Your getting mad at him will only confirm his illusion that he can't manage in the world as he really is - made of the same fabulous all-mixed-up-together humanness that you are and that Aunti M is. . .
However, this doesn't preclude dancing naked on the tables. . .but only if these people are Unitarians. . .
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Oh honey, just come and sit by me. . .
I want to introduce myself. My friend and niece Martha (see her picture over there, that's actually pretty flattering, she has more wrinkles than that) is so nice to invite me here. I know all of ya'll have a lot of questions because everybody seems to. We'll get to those next, hold on honey, nobody's hair is on fire.
I don't know what it is about me, maybe you can tell me. I have been traveling around for the longest time and it just seems like wherever I go somebody sidles up and asks me some big ol' question about life. Martha may be the worst! But I love her, and she cooks for me something powerful when I come visit and she showed me her blog. I didn't know what it was at first, I'm kinda behind in the techno department and frankly blog sounded like some kind of nose obstruction, but here I am, trustin'. She said she wanted me to just sit on the porch and she would bring me a little somethin' and I could answer questions about life.
Well, about that time, about the time I was thinking about it, and waiting to see if the little somethin' was actually going to show up, somebody called and asked her a question about life (I'm not sure why they asked her, she seems to have a whole lot more questions than answers. I guess it is a good thing I showed up when I did). Wisely, she passed it on. So I am thinking about it and we are going to give it a shot in the next post, after I get my little somethin' and let things percolate. If you like what you read, and want to submit a question, just send it to her: marthasimmons@ctc.net. Before you do, read the disclaimer, because we don't want to hear you complaining.
DISCLAIMER: I have been around a long, long time and at my age and station, I don't put up with much in the Bull S./Whining Department. And, just so you know, I'll answer only one'ish a week, and I will probably change the question to say what I wanted to in the first place. And, I'll probably choose questions at random, so please, for gosh sakes, don't submit a question if you get your feelings hurt easily! Just remember that Aunti M loves you because she can't do anything else and its not personal. Nothing is personal. Nothing. If you get that part, you are already home free. . .Now, let's get on with it.
Oh, and P.S., if I get tired of this I'll quit for pete's sake life is too short to intentionally suffer so enjoy it while you can. . .
I don't know what it is about me, maybe you can tell me. I have been traveling around for the longest time and it just seems like wherever I go somebody sidles up and asks me some big ol' question about life. Martha may be the worst! But I love her, and she cooks for me something powerful when I come visit and she showed me her blog. I didn't know what it was at first, I'm kinda behind in the techno department and frankly blog sounded like some kind of nose obstruction, but here I am, trustin'. She said she wanted me to just sit on the porch and she would bring me a little somethin' and I could answer questions about life.
Well, about that time, about the time I was thinking about it, and waiting to see if the little somethin' was actually going to show up, somebody called and asked her a question about life (I'm not sure why they asked her, she seems to have a whole lot more questions than answers. I guess it is a good thing I showed up when I did). Wisely, she passed it on. So I am thinking about it and we are going to give it a shot in the next post, after I get my little somethin' and let things percolate. If you like what you read, and want to submit a question, just send it to her: marthasimmons@ctc.net. Before you do, read the disclaimer, because we don't want to hear you complaining.
DISCLAIMER: I have been around a long, long time and at my age and station, I don't put up with much in the Bull S./Whining Department. And, just so you know, I'll answer only one'ish a week, and I will probably change the question to say what I wanted to in the first place. And, I'll probably choose questions at random, so please, for gosh sakes, don't submit a question if you get your feelings hurt easily! Just remember that Aunti M loves you because she can't do anything else and its not personal. Nothing is personal. Nothing. If you get that part, you are already home free. . .Now, let's get on with it.
Oh, and P.S., if I get tired of this I'll quit for pete's sake life is too short to intentionally suffer so enjoy it while you can. . .
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